Roid Rage ... Steroids, my new favorite creation

Thank God for steroids. Since Monday of this week, my throat has become increasingly sore. Thursday I was told it was just a large amount of post nasal drip (yum!) and was given a prescription for Flonase and told to take my Claritin. I couldn't sleep last night the pain was SO bad. It was getting to the point that I was choosing to spit out my excess saliva instead of swallowing to avoid swallowing. So back to Urgent Care (or so I thought) I went. The took one look at my throat and it was decided I have Acute Pharyngitis aka Serious Sore Throat. You don't say?? At least this time the doc thought it was to the point where an infection had most certainly started and got me on antibiotics and gave me an oral steroid to reduce the swelling. The good news? I can swallow, almost pain free! Only 3 hours after the meds I got this great result. Thank God for steroids!

By the way, if you ever go to a hospital to be seen in the urgent care area... cuz you know you waited until urgent care was open to save yourself FIFTY bucks, be sure to ask that you are indeed AT urgent care and not at the ER. You can thank-me later.

Parenting Struggles / Struggles with Parents

Many days, I worry that I am not doing a good job with the kids that God has loaned to me. In my heart, I know I am doing ok, but I worry that I am following some of the patterns that I resent from my childhood. I don't just want to do an ok job, I want to do an exceptional job. I want to have the kind of relationship with my children that I dreamed of with my mom. I know this isn't a realistic expectation and that ultimately it is out of my hands, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. From worrying about the future. And in worrying about the future and looking at mistakes made in the past, I seem to be pushing myself farther into the throes of depression.

You see, my relationship with my mom, well it is.. challenging. I love her and I have NO doubt that she loves me. God just made us so different. I hear so many women speak of the wonderful relationships they have with their mothers and I want that. Past hurts and present choices really get in the way. I know I need to extend grace to my mom. And to that, I have made some improvement. A wise man once told me that I may never have the relationship with either of my parents that I desire. I can choose where to go from here. I can choose to focus on their mistakes and shortcomings OR I can choose to embrace the parts of them that I love, that ARE good. Some days it takes a lot of searching to find the good things, but here is a short list to start with.

Generous
Social
Christ loving
Gave me a Christian foundation
Provided a stable home during my upbringing

In regards to MY parenting, I need to release it to God. To trust that I am where HE wants me to be. In regards to my relationships with my parents, I am going to try to focus on that little list up there. I think I will pray over that list and ask God to soften my heart.

While it is ok and good to want to be more and to want better, it is not ok when I allow it to consume me and control my present state. This coming week, I am going to focus on what I can give to my children and do the best I can each day. Hopefully next week when I return; I will have made improvement in my personal view of how I am doing.

Random Thoughts

Mom, when we get to heaven and I open my eyes, I might get to see God. - Dramatic Princess - 01/28/11

Little Moneky started interacting with the toys on his jumperoo today. He was having a very vivid conversation with the sun on the rainbow when all of a sudden he noticed us watching him and just started smiling sheepishly. Oh my, at nearly 7 months I am getting this behavior, I wonder what it will be like in two years? or twelve?

Last night Dramatic Princess, indicated that she could NOT sleep. This was after about a minute and a half of "trying" to sleep. She proudly announced that her room was too bright to sleep in, but if we shut off the night light it would be too dark, so her best choice was to stay up and sit right in the living room.

A while ago, Dramatic Princess, asked why she couldn't stay up all night like us. Oh Honey, those days are so far behind us. :)

Dramatic Princess has also announced that she knows everything. And she is happily going to teach it all to her new friend Zoe.

Words or sayings of Dramatic Princess that I love right now:

Two ones (a couple)
Purpies (nipples or breasts)
Eleventeen (17)
Sansitizer (hand sanitizer)
I am firsty (thirsty)

Mom vs Mommy

For the past few days, my daughter has taken to calling me mom. Now, you are probably saying, what's the big deal?? Well it is a big deal to me and come on, she isn't even two-and-a-half! I waited quite a while to earn the mommy title and I would like to hold it for at least a while longer. When I say, I don't know who you are talking about, my name is mommy, she replies "No you Mom. You Joey's Mom." It is adorable and adorably frustrating at the same time. Why oh why does she insist on growing up so fast?

I suppose I should choose other, more worthwhile battles with her, and I do, but I am just not ready to let this one go. My husband thinks it is funny as we get into these mom vs mommy discussion. She is adamant, I am adamant. Each of us proudly in our corner of the ring, who will win this round? What she doesn't know is I will bribe to keep my title...